It will tingle and tingle and tingle. You’ve got to watch your undercarriage.
— Jim Bronner, son of Emanuel, in Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soapbox
Back in the days before smartphones — we’re talking ancient history here — people used to read shampoo bottles on the toilet, and none was (or is) better than Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soap. There are no sesquipedalian chemicals on that label; the actual list of ingredients is short and all natural. But that’s not the magic part. On that label are thousands and thousands of additional words — a wealth of knowledge, a whole lot of nonsense, maybe a little bit of both.
Therein lies the philosophy of Emanuel Bronner, a man who escaped a mental hospital and later said it was a concentration camp, a man who neglected his family to spread the word of the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith, the key to the universe, a syncretistic blending of Thomas Payne, Rudyard Kipling, Albert Einstein, Baruch Spinoza, Jesus Christ, Buddha and Carl Sagan, crammed on a bottle of Castille soap.
You catch all that? Don’t fret. We’ve typed out the whole message below.
FROM THE ARMY OF PRINCIPLES BY THOS. PAINE, 1799.
1st: A human being works hard to teach love his enemy, to help unite all mankind free, or that being is not yet Human; so, go the second mile, hold the other cheek brave, not meek! For we’re All-One or none! All-One! Exceptions eternally none! ABSOLUTE NONE!
22nd: Small minds decay! Average minds delay! Great minds teach All-One today! Win victory and all stand by you; give up? All deny you! Remember, the only difference between the brave and the coward, the Brave has an ideal to fight for, such as teaching the Moral ABC, that at once unites the human race in All-One-God-Faith! As teach Abraham & Israel, inspired by the Messenger of God’s Law, the sign of the Messiah, Halley’s Comet, the Blazing Star of Buddha-Bethlehem-Mohammed! “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!!”
76: “Americanism is the knowledge of, the loyalty inspiration or attachment to the ‘Army of Principles of All-One-God-Faith’, That lightning-like unite the Human race! For we’re all-one or none! Exceptions eternally? Absolute None!” Noah Webster.
84: “We can no longer live half-slave, half-free! We unite the Human race in All-OneGod-Faith or perish by half-true hate! For we’re All-One or None!” Abraham Lincoln
93. “Government, like fire, is our most useful servant, if fully controlled by us, its Citizens; and government, exactly like fire, becomes our most destructive master if not fully controlled by the open majority of its productive working Citizens! Only united-armed-vigilant & trained, Swiss 6000 year Peace & Freedom reigned! Exception? None!” from ‘The Army of Principles’ by George Washington.
95: “I’ve never stooped so low as to hate any man! For I’ve learned that in the long run, all mankind needs-wants-loves whatever good work you’ve done! Regardless of your race, color, nationality or religion!” Booker T. Washington, born a slave!
98. “If ever One Religion reunites God’s legions, it’ll be by omitting all half-truths added onto All-One-God-Faith, that lightning-like unites the Human race for we’re All-One or none! Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!”, as teach since the Year One astronomers Abraham to Mohammed, inspired by the sign of the Messiah, Halley’s Comet!”
99. “An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot! It will succeed where diplomacy may fail! It will always unite the Human race where all else divides All-One-God-Faith!” From American founding father, the world’s first steel-bridge builder, Thomas Paine’s 8 great books, not taught since 1799!
106. The trouble is that the wrong people are always the most energetic, united & intense; driving the hard-workers to lose in self-defense! That fact alone brings Hitlers & Stalins to power & that will only change when we rally-raise-trainevolve-unite the whole Human race with the Moral ABC in All-One-God-Faith!
107: The intensity of man’s emotions is a greater driving force and more decisive than the sum total of his education, his money, plus the size of his brain! Proof: Einstein!
THE MORAL ABC, INTRODUCED BY KIPLING’S “IF” & SOAPMAKER BRONNER
If you can talk to crowds & keep your virtue, or walk with kings & not lose that common touch! If neither loving friend nor enemy can hurt you; if all men count with you, but none too much! If you can work hard to teach each unforgiving minute ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH mason Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite the Human race, come hell, hate, ban, you’ll enjoy God’s spaceship Earth & do great work within it; & which is more my son, you’ll be a man! A man! “Sure, East is East and West is West & never the twain shall meet!” But there is neither East nor West, nor border, breed nor birth, once the Moral ABC unites all mankind free on God’s spaceship Earth! Then & only then, no matter how rough the trip, how charged with punishment the scroll, you are the captain of thy ship, the master of thy soul! Each day, like a bird, perfect thyself first, to have courage & smile my friend! Think & act 10 years ahead! And the man without fault? He’s dead! Do one thing at a time! Work hard! Get done! Then teach friend & enemy ‘How to Work & How to Love’ for God is Love, uniting All-One above in God’s Eternal All-One-God-Faith! To dream that impossible dream! To reach that unreachable star! ’Til All-One, All-One we are! To fight that unbeatable foe! To go where the brave dare not go! To right the unrightable wrong! To love pure, chaste, from afar! To try ’til your arms are too weary!
To reach that unreachable star! ’Til All-One, All-One we are! For this is my goal! To reach
that unreachable star! No matter how hopeless, no matter how far! To fight for the right without question or pause, to be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause! For I know that if I follow this glorious quest, my heart will lie peaceful & calm when I’m laid to my rest! And I know that the world will be better for this, that one man, tortured, blinded, covered with scars, still strove with his last ounce of courage, to reach that unreachable star ’til united All-One we are! These are the days my friend, we know they’ll never end! We’ll work-sing-dance-love, marching on! We live God’s Law today! We win Free Speech OK! With 10 men & full-truth, our only God, we rally-raise-unite All-One! All-One!
144: When half-truth is gone & we are dust, the full-truth we print, protect & teach alone lives on! Full-truth is God, it must! Help teach the whole Human race, the Moral ABC of All-One-God-Faith, lightning-like 6 billion strong & in our Eternal Father’s Kingdom, we’re All-One! “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!”
Enjoy only 2 cosmetics, enough sleep & Dr. Bronner’s ‘Magic Soap’ to clean body-mind-soulspirit instantly uniting One! AllOne! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! For facial packs, scalp & soothing body rub, add dash on bath towel in sink of hot water. Wring out. Lay over face & scalp. Massage with fingertips. Repeat 3 or 4 times ’til arms, legs & all are rubbed, always towards the heart. Rinse towel in plain hot water and massage again. Breathe deeply! Health is Wealth. Within 9 minutes you feel fresh, mint-clean, saving 90% of your hot water & soap, ready to help teach the whole Human race the Moral ABC of All-OneGod-Faith! For we’re All-One or none! ALL-ONE! ALL-ONE! ALLAbsolute cleanliness is Godliness! Who else but God gave man Love that can spark mere dust to life! Poetry, uniting All-One! All brave! All life! Who else but God! “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!”
Einstein, 1939, after Nazis & Commies united, proposed spacebombs that destroy all, unless we finally teach the Moral ABC’s the real Rabbi Hillel taught Jesus to unite all in All-One-God-Faith. As teach astronomers Abraham-Israel-Moses-Buddha-Hillel-Jesus-Spinoza-Paine-Sagan & Mohammed, inspired every 76 years, 6000 years by the Messenger of God’s Law, the Messiah, Halley’s Comet: “WE’RE ALL ONE OR NONE!” “THERE IS NO GOD BUT GOD!” “TEACH LOVE THY ENEMY!” “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” Israel-Moses-Buddha-Jesus-Mohammed: ONE! ALL-ONE!
1st: If I’m not for me, who am I? Nobody! 2nd: Yet, if I’m only for me, what am I? Nothing!
3rd: If not now, when? Once More: Unless constructive-selfish I work hard, like Mark Spitz, perfecting first me, absolute nothing can help me! 4th: Only hard work–God’s Law can save us, but if we teach only our clan? We’re all hated then! So, we must teach friend & enemy, the whole Human race, the full-truth, hard-work, free speech, press-&-profitsharing Moral ABC’s All-One-God-Faith, lighting-like, 6-billion strong, for we’re All-One or none! All-One-God-Faith, as teach the African shepherd-astronomers Abraham & Israel, for 6000-years, since the year 1: “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” – WE’RE ONE! ALL-ONE! EXCEPTIONS ETERNALLY? NONE! ABSOLUTE NONE!
5th: Whatever unites mankind is better than whatever divides us! Yet, if absolute-unselfish I am not for me, I’m not but classless, raceless, starving masses, never free nor brave! Only if constructive-selfish I work hard perfecting first me, like Mark Spitz–arctic owls–penguin–pilot–cat–swallow–beaver, bee, can I teach the MORAL ABC’s ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH, that lightning-like unites the Human race! For we’re ALL-ONE OR NONE! ALL-ONE! “listen children eternal father eternally one!” EXCEPTIONS ETERNALLY? ABSOLUTE NONE!
6th: Absolute cleanliness is Godliness! Balanced food for body-mind-soul-spirit is our medicine! Full-truth our God, half-truth our enemy, hard work our salvation, unity our goal, free speech our weapon. All-One our soul, self-discipline the key to love, uniting All-One above! Above! So, when your fellow man you measure, take him at his best, with that lever, lift him higher, overlook the rest! For we’re All-One or none! As teach for 6000 years astronomers Abraham & Israel: “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!”
7th: Each swallow works hard to be perfect pilot-provider-builder-trainer-teacher-lover-mate, no half-true hate! So, each day like a bird, perfect thyself first! Have courage and smile my friend. Think and act 10 years ahead! And the man without fault? He’s dead! Do one thing at a time, work hard! Get done! Then teach friend & enemy the Moral ABC that unites all mankind free! Uniting One! All-One! Face the world with a smile, life is always worthwhile! To the fearless are given crowns, keep out the past, disappointments won’t last! Help unite mankind, or we’re wandering clowns! Diligent preparation, precede . . . spectacular restoration!! So, help teach the whole Human race, the Moral ABC’s All-One-God-Faith, lightning-like, for we’re All-One or none! All-One!!
8th: More good is caused by evil than by good, do what’s right! Enlarge the positive! Replace the negative with the Moral ABC’s ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH, that lightning-like unites the Human race! FOR WE’RE ALL ONE OR NONE! “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” WE’RE ALL ONE OR NONE! EXCEPTIONS ETERNALLY? NONE!!
9th: Free Speech is man’s only weapon against half-truth, that denies free speech to smear-slay-slander-tax-enslave. Full-truth, our only God, unites all mankind brave, if 10 men guard free speech, brave! “If ever one religion unites all mankind, it will be by omitting all irrelevancies & redundancies, added unto the Faith in One-Almighty, all-embracing, ever-loving, ever-evolving, ever-recreating Eternal God, and by ABSOLUTE NOTHING ELSE” America’s founding father, Thomas Paine, 8 books suppressed since 1799!
10th: Thank God we don’t descend down from perfect Adam & Eve to sinful sinner, brother’s keeper, divided slave! Thank God! United, hard-working trained brave, from dust we ascend up! Thank God for that! Our brother’s teacher of the Moral ABC, mason-tent-&-sandalmaker Hillel, taught Carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free! With it, every Human being created on God’s Spaceship Earth, can evolve united, inspired-raised-trained-skilled-disciplined, guided lightning-like by a new birth! Without it . . . we destroy God’s Spaceship Earth!
11th: Essene, Chinese and other birth control methods must reduce birth or Easter Isle type overpopulation destroys God’s Spaceship Earth!
12th: A great teacher, must first, a self-supporting hardworker be, like Alesen-Baeck-Carnegie-Cousteau-Hammer-Liebman-Paine-Pike-Sanger-Spinoza-Strauss-Szasz-Wilke-YadinZamenhof, or he’ll turn our greatest teaching into spades, to bury our people! “All people!”, added Carpenter Jesus entering manhood! Manhood! but, for 2000 years, we Rabbis never teach the Moral ABC the real Rabbi Hillel taught Jesus, to unite the Human race in our Eternal Father’s great ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH! For we’re ALL-ONE OR NONE! ALL-ONE! For example: Einstein’s Rabbi Levey evicted us from his University Princeton “Hillel Foundation”, when we asked” “You agree, of course, that Hillel’s hard work-speech-press-&-profitsharing Moral ABC, unites the Human race, in our Eternal Father’s great ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH! The exact opposite to Marxist-Socialism, that does demoralize-divide-decay the whole human race today!
13th: “Knowing the full truth that unites the human race & not teaching all is deathly guilt!”, learned carpenter Jesus from Mason Rabbi Hillel! But Marx, innocent grandson of 2 Rabbis, learned only half-truth! Ashamed, Marx wrote 1844: “One World Without Jews”, to kill all Jews, 1848. “The Communist Manifest”, to kill the rich, causing Nazi-Psycho-Communism, 66 million murders! As Mao wrote in Redbook 51 : “Marxist-Communism, once in power, is utterly unworkable, has less value than cowdung. Its power is the gun!”What an apology we Rabbis owe Israel, Marx, Mao, all mankind, for not teaching Astronomy’s great All-One-God-Faith, that with just 6 words eternally unites the human race! As teaches African-shepherd Astronomer Israel for 6000 years, “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNALLY ONE!” For one God’s Spaceship Earth, with Bomb & Gun, we’re All-One or none! All-One! All-One! All-One! Exceptions eternally? Absolute none!
Dr. Bronner passed away peacefully on March 7th of 1997. The business continues to be run by the Bronner family with no break in continuity. Over 1000 acres of Dr. Bronner’s beloved Rain Forest was donated by his family to the Boys and Girls Clubs of San Diego County, California. Underprivileged children can now camp under the stars within sight of Mt. Palomar which is often mentioned in the Moral ABC. Free articles. Moral ABC Book $2.
“The 2nd Coming of God’s Law” Mohammed’s Arabs, 1948, found Israel Essene Scrolls & Einstein’s “Hillel” prove that as certain as no 6-year-old can grow up free without the abc, so certain can no 12-year old survive free without the Moral ABC mason, tent & sandalmaker, Rabbi Hillel taught carpenter Jesus to unite all mankind free in our Eternal Father’s great All-One-GodFaith! For we’re All-One or none” “Listen Children Eternal Father Eternally One!” One!
100% VEGAN. HEALTH IS OUR GREATEST WEALTH. NOT ANIMAL TESTED WE’RE ALL-ONE OR NONE! GUARANTEED SINCE 1948. CONSERVE . . . REFILL FROM GALLON OR DRUM AT STORE! OK!
The whole World is our country, our Fatherland, because all mankind are born its Citizens! We’re all Brothers and Sisters because One, ever-loving Eternal Father is our only God, our only Religion, that Reunites God’s legion! For we’re ALLONE OR NONE. “LISTEN CHILDREN ETERNAL FATHER ETERNAL ONE!” There are brave souls who dare to dream that men are brothers and not foes. That hands may clasp across the seas to common good, to common woes. That beneath God’s Law, the Essene Moral ABC, that 6 billion strong unites AllOne-God-Faith men will embrace in brother-love to never kill in bitter hate. Who Dare to hear the mighty truth, reverberating through the long years, that faith-love-courage conquer fear & teamwork heal a nation’s tears. Though flood & fire sweep the old earth’s sod, & raging wars and evils wreck its calm, still through the awful tumult there is God our glorious world within His upraised palm. Among the journeying stars, the moon, the sun that have not failed because of that great might, with other pilgrim planets, we are one held in His hand, kept in His steadfast sight. Amidst the cannons roar you can hear God’s voice: “Replace half truth, our real enemy, that age old hate” with full truth, hard work.
God’s Law uniting mankind in All-One-God-Faith! For centuries man struggles half asleep, half living, small & jealous, bickering with mountains of red tape to awakened, the night God chose giving His great reward for hard work: Poetry, uniting Love, evolving man above the ape! Machine age man is full of sense & nonsense, fear, greed & jealousy destroy his every land; Today, the whole wide world craves love-faith-courage, united by the Moral ABC we stand!
DILUTE: ENJOY 1 SOAP for 18 DIFFERENT USES! GUARANTEED NO SYNTHETIC PEPPERMINT OILS & 100% VEGETARIAN: SUPER MILD CASTILE HAS OUTSTANDING WATER SOFTENING & CLEANSING POWERS. PREFERABLE TO HARSH SOAP & DEFATTENING SYNTHETICS. IT DOES NOT CUT DIRT, BUT DISSOLVES IT. IT IS THE MILDEST, MOST PLEASANT SOAP YOU EVER USED OR MONEY BACK! ENJOY BODY RUB TO STIMULATE BODY MINDSOUL-SPIRIT AND TEACH THE ESSENE MORAL ABC UNITING ALL FREE IN THE SHEPHERD-ASTRONOMER ISRAEL’S GREATEST ALL-ONE-GOD-FAITH! NO FOAMING AGENTS 100% BIODEGRADABLE! TO SIMPLIFY & ENJOY LIFE MORE, DILUTE 1/2 OZ. OR 2 SQUIRTS OF THIS PURE CASTILE SOAP WITH 2 GALLONS OR SINKFUL HOT WATER, THEN TOWEL MASSAGE A FACIAL PACK, THEN WRING TOWEL OUT & FINGERTIP MASSAGE YOUR HAIR & SCALP. .ENJOY THE CREAMY EMOLLIENT LATHER ON BABY, BATH, BEACH, BODY, DENTURES, MINT DEODORANT, SHAVING, NO DETERGENTS
MADE IN U.S.A.
Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps
18-in-1 Hemp PEPPERMINT
Contains: Water, Saponified Coconut-Hemp-Olive Oils (with retained Glycerin), Olive Fatty Acids, Peppermint Oil, Rosemary Extract 100% Cruelty Free in Bars and Liquid Peppermint, Lavender, Almond, Eucalyptus, Tea Tree, Aloe Vera Baby-Mild
For everyday bodywashing: Get wet and pour soap full-strength onto handswashcloth-loofah. Lather up, scrub down, rinse off, and tingle fresh & clean!
Use Dr. Bronner’s for Shave-Shampoo-Massage-Dental-Soap Bath!
Pure Castile Soap for Dispensers-Uniforms-Diapers-Babies-Beach!
Dash in Hot Water, Towel Massage body always toward your heart!
Soap clouds when cold ~50 F. Put in warm room/water: clears at ~70 F.
Warning! Keep Out of Eyes! Wash Out with Water!
Don’t Drink Soap! Dilute! Dilute! or Wet Skin Well! OK!
DR. BRONNER’S MAGIC SOAPS
Box 28, Escondido, CA 92033
32 FL. OZ. / (1 QUART) 944 ML
0 18787 76532 6